(tj and me-I am the one with the name tag)
If you ever read what I write, you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve and show my deepest of deep thoughts (vulnerable). Am I afraid of getting hurt-Sure, who isn’t. But maybe, just maybe in some of my words, someone will relate and draw closer to God. To HIM be all the glory! This may just be the New Testament church of Social Media :-)
I remember when I was young(and even to this day), my father loved to buy us things. The atrocious Blue and Black Nike sneakers I just had to have, McDonalds when he went away for a board meeting(we lived an hour from the closest fast food restaurant), and extravagant gifts at Christmas. Dad shows love through his generous heart and giving.
Last night we went to Church in a rural area (RVC Mbekelweni) with many from the community, a team from the usa, and the orphans from our I Am Not Forgotten home. TJ(who has always stolen my heart) was there, and once again came running up, holding my hand and saying Babe (bah-bay, means “dad”) Mitch, come sit with me. How could I not? So ½ way through the service we were holding hands and I was thinking about all of the things I could give her and do for her. Then out of the longing in my heart to adopt her legally, God spoke to me:
“I like to give gifts too, and this longing is natural. You love this girl because SHE loves back. You desire her to be yours because she loves well. You want to give her opportunity and love-just like I want to do for all people(including you mitch). Now you see my heart and feel my burden deeper”
Socked me in the gut as I wiped the tears and hugged TJ one last time until our return in February next year
It is easy to love someone(especially kids) when they love back so freely. But where I often fail is what about those that don’t love back, does that change God’s view of them? No way.
I long to have more of both of my father’s Love. One who knit me together in my mother’s womb and one who has honored my mom for 48 years of marriage.
The longing is still there to have “children of our own”, and though we reference that all of these kids are ours(thousands of boogery nosed little brown faces), there is something special about all of them, but we are drawn and want to do even more to those that Love us back. hmmmm-think me and God need to have further discussions.