Tuesday, September 21
1st day of Junior High
A few folks have asked what life is like here in Africa as Americans. I do not really know how to put to words what I am feeling. Do you remember when you went to school for the first time, or switched schools? Anticipation, fear, excitement, and a sense of not really know where you belong anymore? I guess that is as close of a comparison as we can find. Just like school, you start to make new friends, you start to “re-learn” how to live. Life goes on with your “old friends” back at their old school, and you feel… alone.
We recognize that our passion is not everyone’s, and what we see and experience is not something folks are just waiting on the edge of their seat to hear/see. Yes, of course-we “lean on God” “Seek Him” more.. .but aren’t those the “gold star answers”??- you know- the ones you always gave your Sunday school teacher for approval?
The glamour of “I’m going to save the world in a week” begins to fade. The relationships that were so close just months ago, seem to change (some even changed before we left-we have coped this way when we knew friends were leaving…sometimes people just do not know how to handle separation, and have to distance themselves-we get that)..it is painful though..you begin to second guess relationships(and THIS is where we see the enemy working), you begin to second guess every statement, every contact, every lack of contact, and every message.
We are told that the first year in the field is really about God “wrecking” you, and revealing in you the junk that distanced you from Him. I think he has several big cranes swinging at once right now. We know it is/will be good, but are wallowing in self pity for the moment, and I do not enjoy showing this “vulnerability”. But so many amazing people (you) have supported us financially and prayerfully. You get to experience all of the ups, and many of the downs with us.(aren’t you glad you signed on for that? :-) )
Unlike a kid in school, I do NOT want to ever get to a point where I forget my old friendships…I want to continue to do this life with them. I recognize it is vital to our success here, and more selfishly- to me personally.
Thanks for listening, for being a friend, and for letting us “puke” a bit. I promise-we will do our best to not throw up on you often.
That is a glimpse of what this Journey is doing today. Tomorrow, we play with kids-that always seems to make it better/distract us from it all…(sorry that this one is all about “us”.. we will share more stories from the kids soon.)